There is one thing that’s for certain: There is more anger on social media right now and so often, social media managers are the focus of that anger.

Whether that anger is justified or not doesn’t really matter. What does matter is how much people are lashing out at brands for perceived slights. Am I saying that every brand is innocent? Absolutely not. A lot of mistakes get made because these brands are run by completely imperfect humans. But that doesn’t change the fact that the overreaction to some of these mistakes has nothing to do with these brands or the social media managers behind them.

So how do you deal with this anger? We’ve all talked endlessly about how to handle negative comments as a brand, but let’s talk about to handle them as the human behind the brand.

Know it has nothing to do with you

It’s really hard to remember this as you are reading an absolutely brutal comment. It’s much easier to internalize what the person is saying and let it affect you. But if you did that every time someone said something negative about your brand, you’d have to find a new career fast for your mental health. It’s just not a sustainable practice.

I would open up comments and keep a barrier up. That means not taking in the negative comments as well as the positive comments. Be almost clinical about it. When I look at comments, I classify then conquer. In other words, I decide if a response is necessary (regardless of whether it’s a positive or negative comment) or if it’s best to leave the comment be, which is especially true in the case of trolls.

Yes, this kind of distance is hard and you absolutely want to revel in your wins. But the positive and negative comments are for the brand, not you. So keeping that in mind and not relying on comments from strangers for validation will keep you in this career longer.

Remember their anger is coming from something else

Even the most detached person cannot always remember that a negative comment has nothing to do with them. So what do you do with that?

Honestly, when a comment says something very out-of-line and contains personal attacks, it has even less to do with the social media manager, even though it reads like the opposite. The person is likely going through something that is particularly rough and lashing out at the easiest person they can: a nameless person running an account on social media. Their anger is misplaced, and I would chalk it up as a bad day on their part.

Does this mean it’s acceptable? Absolutely not. I’m just saying this as a means to get you to put the comment in perspective. If it’s happening repeatedly and they’re a customer (whatever the term “customer” means for your organization), I would have someone who has some kind of relationship with them reach out to see how they’re doing personally. A lot of times, this reach out cures the whole situation, because in reality, they just needed to know someone cares. I would also put them in “time out.” Their comments should be automatically hidden until they can be moderated. They will see the comment as published and get the release they need. In reality, no one else sees it. I don’t know why, but that always makes me happy.

Be strict about boundaries

I have had clients attacked about issues that actually have nothing to do with them, and I had to read some really nasty comments. Do you know what helped? Knowing that I was working towards a time of day where I didn’t have to read them. I’d do my check-ins throughout the day, and when it was time to log off, I totally logged off. Having that space gave me the ability to recharge and strengthen myself, so when I did log back on, I didn’t make mistakes simply because I was too tired from reading the anger.

When you work in social media, it’s too easy to get into a cycle of constant work. But even when things are particularly bad, you need to have some boundaries. Otherwise you could end up saying something that will only fan the flames. If it’s a situation that does need constant monitoring, then you need to call in reinforcements. And if they don’t work in social media, have it be someone who just looks at the comments to flag anything that needs an immediate response and doesn’t respond. That might give them a new appreciation for what you do while also giving you the rest you need to do it better.

Fill your offline time with activities

I mean, yes, give yourself some rest. But also make sure you know there is a whole lot more than the online world. Because we work so intensely in it, it can end up feeling like that’s the real world. It’s not. So knowing there’s a much bigger and a much cooler world out there can help when you’re dealing with people and their anger. It just puts everything into perspective.

Go out with friends. Lean into some of your hobbies. Experience the great outdoors. Do whatever feels right and gets you around real life humans. That will give you a much better attitude when you do tackle the anger of the online mob.

There will always be anger in the online world. But if you put it into perspective and keep your life full, it’s so much easier to deal with when it turns its ugly head towards your brand.

How do you deal with online anger?