Like I said last week, I have had to say no a lot to clients. It’s a tricky thing to say as a social media consultant. But I’m usually saying it for their own good and with no malice. And when the client can listen to that no, life is so much better for both of us.

The clients I enjoy working with tend to listen when I say no. Do I mean that they always follow what I’m saying? Absolutely not. What I am saying is that they listen to what I am saying as a social media consultant and then use it to make their own conclusions. That is all I ask for as a consultant. You can do whatever you want as long as you listen to my advice first. It’s a sign of respect, and honestly, it’s part of what you pay me for.

What does all of this look like in practice?

You listen to the reasons

We’re a society that skims. There’s so much information to take in that our skip and jump over it, not really taking everything in. When it comes to making a decision, that can hurt your organization.

I am a person who wants to make sure my clients have all of the relevant information when I’m telling them which path to take. That has gotten me in trouble. I simply didn’t take into account all of the other tasks a client has on their plate. And they’re going to skim if I don’t make it easy for them to read. I now know that I need to make it easy for my clients to listen to me.

So whenever we need to make a big decision, I start off with my conclusion with quick reasons why. And then tell them I can go into further detail if necessary. This has been so much more effective than the emails of big, long blocks of text with the conclusion at the end that I used to love to send. It’s frankly too easy for me to write like that, and it’s been in my best interest to stop.

And then it’s the client’s responsibility to actually read rather than skim to make sure they are getting the best information to make the best decision. It’s honestly way too rare that this happens. I’ve had several clients say to me that they want me to do something, and then after I explain why that’s a bad idea, they tell me to do it anyway. It’s very obvious in these cases that they did not listen to anything I say. That ruins our relationship faster than anything.

Explain your reasons

When a client tells me no and then I ask why, the worst response I can possibly get is, “Because I said so.” It makes me feel like a toddler and like I should do what I want anyway. Not that I do that, but there is that urge…

A client-consultant relationship should be more of a conversation than a boss-underling situation. The consultant has been brought in to make the work better because the people in-house need that help. So treating them like they don’t know what they’re doing is a waste of time and resources.

In my experience, I treat the client as the subject matter expert while I am the content creation and community expert. When the two are working collaboratively, we end up with something really special. So when I say no to something from my end of things, I fully understand that at the other end, there might be a good reason for a yes. Sharing those reasons with me can make me better at seeing your viewpoint and applying it toward future issues. And that can actually save everyone a lot of time.

Don’t take it personally

The biggest way to tank your social media program is by taking everything the social media consultant says like they are personally attacking you. It’s going to ensure you are making some bad decisions.

When it comes to content, you need to put all the emotion into it to make sure it connects with the audience. But when it comes to decisions around the content, it’s best to take some of that emotion out of it. Not just because you will make some bad decisions, but also because it’s physically exhausting to turn everything into an emotional argument. No one has the time for that.

For your health and the health of everyone around you, assume that those you are working with have the best intentions. If that is proven otherwise, deal with it then. But until it is, be more positive. You will find that your working relationships will improve immensely when you show this level of respect for everyone around you.

Pause

Especially in the digital world, everyone relies on their knee jerk reaction to everything. Working from your gut can be useful, but you shouldn’t be relying on it all the time.

Instead of reading what your consultant has sent you and giving a quick reply, take a moment to sit with it. Let it marinate so you can really see all sides of the argument. Take a walk so your brain can really work through the problem.

Taking that pause will also help you to make sure that you are not acting from a place of emotion but from a place of fact and data. While there are reasons to move fast, when you can, moving a bit slower will likely give you a better outcome.

“No, but…”

When I say no to a client, I follow it up with something I can say yes to. Why? Because it keeps them motivated to be a collaborator and connected to what we are doing. Those are very important things when I’m trying to be successful.

Imagine you are constantly telling your social media consultant no to all of their ideas. They’re eventually going to stop bringing you their good ideas and save them for clients who say yes. And they’re not going to be as proud of what they put out, so they’re not going to put as much effort into it. That is going to affect your social media program.

Even if it’s something tiny, a social media consultant will respect you for finding the time to say yes to. And a great social media consultant will do the same for you. There is always a gem if you take the time to find it. And finding it can really take your social media program to the next level.

How you do you listen when your social media consultant gives you a no?