Over the past week, social media has been a mess. Emotions are high and people are saying lots of things. They will regret some of them later. And I’m not just saying this because people are roaming social media posts trying to get others fired (but also, this is something else as well).

In the midst of this, I had a story about my daughter on Threads go viral. Unlike other times, it didn’t stay on Threads. It has migrated to other networks. My daughter’s philosophy about going to the library any time we feel bad has touched a lot of people. Probably because a lot of us feel bad right now, and going to the library sounds like the most sane thing we can do.

The story received a lot of positive feedback. I was called a great mom, etc. My daughter was referred to as so empathetic for her age (absolutely spot-on observation). But I didn’t really let it affect me.

Why did I do this? Let’s talk about it.

But it’s positive!

The last time I went viral on Threads, it was negative. Very negative. I was called the worst mother in the world. And I read it all in wide eyed wonder that anyone would say these these things about someone who they didn’t know. It taught me a lot about how I couldn’t rely on social media for any kind of validation.

Yes, this most recent viral story was super positive and lots of people are telling me I’m a good mom. But what does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Some strangers on the internet like me? Big deal. My daughter cares about me enough to want to make things better for me. That’s a much bigger deal, and maybe my story was a brag about that.

If I let the emotions of the internet in, it would be a super up and down. That’s not healthy for me or my family. So I shut a lot of those emotions out and prioritize what is happening in real life.

I let in emotions about my work

However, when something happens on social media that I have created a space for, I am fist pumping. I will let those emotions in all day. Because this is a very different scenario.

Fulfilling my goals for a client on social media and celebrating is not the same as reading what someone says about me (or my client) and letting it affect me. Instead, it’s letting myself have a moment to enjoy what I do. This doesn’t take me to the highest highs or the lowest lows. It’s much more level and much more real.

Like if I discover a new potential fan with a decent following on social media and I take that person through the entire buyer’s journey into becoming an ambassador… to the point that I can document the entire thing… Dang that feels good. I’m going to let it feel good too. I deserve it. This is something real that I did with hard work.

On the other hand, random comments on the internet, whether nice or not-so-nice, are not real. And they’re not really reflecting anything about you.

These emotions are about the commenter

What I’ve learned over the course of way too many years on the internet is that any comment someone makes on a post is a reflection of themselves and not the person who made the post.

For example, since my going viral moment was all about my three year old, I monitored shares and comments as much as was humanly possible while still having a life. I wanted to make sure that nothing weird happened. I can’t say exactly what I was looking, just that I’d know it if I saw it. Thankfully, I didn’t see it. I did, however, see someone comment that she took issue with my saying I was crying hormonally. Well, I’ve done a lot of work around emotions, and I can tell when one of my emotions is genuine and when it’s inflated by my hormones. This crying was inflated by hormones.

I stared at the comment. I walked away from the comment. And then I replied to the comment. Not a good moment on my part, but I felt the need to explain and underline that it was the correct descriptor. Someone else commented and said to leave it. That’s when I remembered that the comment didn’t have anything to do with me. This woman had some negative connotations towards the word “hormonal” because of things that had happened in her life. So she tried to put those negative feelings onto me. It unfortunately worked at first.

If I took on all of the emotions that are expressed at me on the internet, there wouldn’t be room for much else. And there’d be a whole lot less of me and a whole lot more of others. I like me. I think there should be more of me. And so I’ll carry on despite what the internet says.

How do you handle the emotions expressed at you on the internet?